Wednesday, 13 February 2013

THIS IS 40


I've written you a sort-of song about Judd Apatow's sort-of sequel Think yourselves lucky.

Things get really tough when you're 40
Yesterday you were happily 39
Then holy shit you've turned 40
And that's like probably half your life.

Now you need Viagra to get a boner
Even though Leslie Mann is fucking fine for her age
Despite having two kids with the dude behind the camera
I mean, come on Rudd, get it up and in bruv.

Now you've realised money's tight
Been too generous with your cash
Gotta tighten up as your 40
And soon you'll be dead and your kids will have fuck all left.

Better start exercising and get out on your bike
Wearing all the gear makes you look better
Even though you actually can't ride for shit
But don't worry because it's all funny and at least you are trying.

Next head to the doctors and let him check you out
Make a gag whilst fingering your arsehole
And laughing whilst his face is basically in your cunt
Now you feel better, because being 40 makes you more prone to life-threatening illnesses.

The children are getting in the way
You want a cheeky blowy or a quickie before the school run
It fucking sucks being 40
Still wanting sexual adventures despite feeling too old.

Relationship is getting strained
Things keep bubbling over
Time to step back and re-assess
Pretty difficult when you are 40.

This song probably sounds like
That I'm taking the royal piss
And that This is 40 is a pile of dogshit
When actually it's Apatow's finest film to date.

Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann are excellent
Plus the supporting cast are great
The script is beautifully balanced
And its often hilarious and sincere.

So go see This is 40
It's one of the best movies about relationships
And one of the strongest pictures I've seen this year
I'm gonna stop typing now, as I've run out of ideas.


You can send my Academy Award for Best Original Song via Royal Mail. Fuck you Adele, you don't deserve shit. Bitch.


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