Watch Liam Neeson Lose People Again.

Talk about bad parenting...

Too soon right? Sorry.

Finally.

Oh sod off haters.

'The Five-Year Engagement' Review

The Five-Year Engagement (dir: Nicholas Stoller, 2012) Cert: 15

Here's how it is.

The Five-Year Engagement is too long; clocking in at 124 minutes, it does begin to outstay it's welcome. The film also isn't entirely sure which genre it wants to reside within - first it's a romantic comedy, followed by a gross-out and then becomes slowly rendered by drama. Jason Segel's latest movie does feel a little messy but in all honesty, does it really matter?

No.

 In truth, the film's imbalanced nature actually makes it feel more authentic, more human; something that is so easily lost in these 'sorts' (for lack of a better word) of pictures. The processes of engagement to marriage must be fragmented, complicated and stressful, but also greatly rewarding, beautiful and harmonious. The Five-Year Engagement is an absolute delight because of this and due to the unmatchable, utterly fantastic chemistry between the two leads who are undoubtedly two of Hollywood's most reliable performers.

Emily Blunt seems to have fantastic screen charisma with virtually every leading man she's stuck with:

DESTINY.

Perfect.

Brilliant.

Whilst Segel is without doubt the nicest, most charming leading comedic presence working today. You just want to be best friends with him.

Sorry Barney...

 At the end of the day, issues and all, The Five-Year Engagement is one of 2012's best comedy offerings plus it's perfectly acceptable viewing for both genders, couples and singletons. It may not accumulate the same acclaim as Bridesmaids but it's as equally good.

Anticipation Films June-December 2012

"Bane I'm sorry! I really am excited for The Dark Knight Rises! AGGGHHHH!"

So far 2012 has produced some pretty good movies; pleasant surprises have come in the forms of 21 Jump Street, Goon, iLL Manors and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, big films have delivered the goods such as The Hunger Games, Prometheus and Avengers Assemble, and to top it off, indie releases have been boss with Martha Marcy May Marlene being a gleaming example of American filmic artistry. 

 Now in June, we meet the year's half-way mark and the big boys are ready to show their hands. Here's my list of anticipation films ready for release in the next six months in order of excitement...

10.

Argo(dir: Ben Affleck - USA - GK Films)
Both of Ben Affleck's directorial pieces have been nothing short of staggering; Gone Baby Gone is amongst the most powerful, emotive and underrated works in recent American cinema and it's seems his winning streak is continuing with Argo. Blending weighted drama, political history and a hefty thriller narrative, this looks like edge-of-your-seat entertainment. It's also a step away from his safe-house of Boston which might do his career a bit of good.

9.



Looper(dir: Rian Johnson - USA - FilmDistrict)
Man of 2012 Joseph Gordon-Levitt dominates Rian Johnson's futuristic crime thriller about a a hitman who arrives in the year 2072 for a job and a new target to hit which he soon realises is his future self. Helming a top-notch cast including Bruce Willis and Emily Blunt, a brilliantly unique screenplay and a director fully capable of this content, Looper looks like a total smash.

8.



Ted(dir: Seth MacFarlane - USA - Universal)
It will certainly be stupid but Ted looks like an absolute riot. Directed by and featuring voicing from Family Guy supreme Seth MacFarlane and starring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, expect despicable language, relentless sex gags and laughs-a-plenty. This Red Band trailer is littered with bubbly and blue dialogue which will force you to crack a smile.

7.


Killer Joe(dir: William Friedkin - USA - LD Distribution)
Yup, it's the chicken bone movie - I won't tell you what or where this is used/placed...Anyway Killer Joe looks like a darkly comic, hyper-mental and utterly gross-out Texan romp constructed by a true American auteur. If anyone can do offensive, it's Friedkin. Starring Matthew 'tight abs' McConaughey who seems to be bettering as an actor thankfully, Emile Hirsch, Thomas Haden Church and the brilliant Juno Temple, this is going to be a sight for sore eyes.

6.


The Master(dir: Paul Thomas Anderson - USA - Annapurna Pictures)
Often regarded by many as one of American's finest filmmakers, PTA returns after the wild, utterly deserving success of Their Will Be Blood with The Master. Starring now not-crazy Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams, and sporting the year's most arty yet intriguing trailer, this picture looks like yet another gold star in his filmography. I cannot wait.

5.


Magic Mike(dir: Steven Soderberg - USA - Warner Bros.)
Cinematic persistent and full-time master Steven Soderberg presents us with a comedy/drama about male strippers starring Channing Tatum, Matthew 'tight abs' and Alex 'I'm obviously British' Pettyfer. Sound riveting right? Well actually yes; this year alone, the world has seen Tatum morph into a decent and often charming film presence, plus with someone as able and meticulous as Soderberg behind the camera, there is no doubt in my mind that Magic Mike will be anything less than great.

4.


Les Miserables(dir: Tom Hooper - UK/France - Universal)
After the roaring success of The King's Speech, I'm so glad Tom Hooper has stuck with the period filmmaking theme. If any single director working today should adapt Les Miserables, it's him. I've read the book and it's a slog, I've seen the show and it's incredible, and judging from this trailer, the cinematic version looks to sit with the latter and rival the West-End hit. Beautifully constructed, sumptuously costumed and starring four of Hollywood's top dogs. I pray this is fantastic because it deserves to be.

3.



Gangster Squad(dir: Ruben Fleischer - USA - Warner Bros.)
Zombieland maestro Ruben Fleischer takes the reigns of what could be 2012's sleekest film; boasting an insane cast including the coolest human being on the planet (Ryan Gosling obvs...), fantastically stylish direction, set design and dress, Gangster Squad has all the credentials to be masterful. If it's great, I reckon it'll take a high place on my films of the year list. The trailer is ridiculously good too.

2.


The Great Gatsby(dir: Baz Luhrmann - USA/Australia - Warner Bros.)
Finally, finally, FINALLY a big-screen adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's masterpiece which actually looks good. In fact, better than good, better than great, it looks simply perfect. The trailer completely captures the novel's unmatchable romance, glamour and spirit, plus Leonardo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan are the best possible casting choices for Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan. If anyone can deliver the adaptation the world has waited for, it's Baz Luhrmann. I think I'll cry if it's bad.

1.



The Dark Knight Rises(dir: Christopher Nolan - USA/UK - Warner Bros.)
Absolutely no surprises here. I'm sure this is at the top of most people's lists and rightly-blooming-so. Christopher Nolan is the bravest, boldest and most technically ambitious filmmaker working in cinema today, mix that with his sheer genius writing abilities, his eye for scale and composition, plus Wally Pfister's breathtaking cinematography, Hans Zimmer's monumental score and the best ensemble cast of 2012, and what do you get? A film that surely cannot disappoint. The trailer above is easily the best piece of film promotion of the year and with Nolan coming off the back of Inception (which I personally still haven't seen anything better than since it's release), The Dark Knight Rises is a juggernaut that cannot get on our big screens any quicker. The Dark Knight is widely regarded as the best superhero film ever made, but will this do the impossible and top it? I for one cannot wait to find out.
So there's my list of the films I'm most looking forward to over the next 6 months - other films which I cannot wait for but probably won't make it to Britain before 2013 include Only God Forgives, Inside Llewyn Davis and Django Unchained. Oh and yes, I am ridiculously looking forward to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2; hope you lot can deal with that...
What films are you most looking forward to? Let me know below!

'iLL Manors' Review

iLL Manors (dir: Ben Drew, 2012) Cert: 18

I reviewed Ben 'Plan B' Drew's directorial début a few days back for Filmoria.

Click the poster above to read my review unless your dizzy blud....

Chris' Most Important Films 1990-2012

Now before I start - this list consists of my opinions only - not votes, public poles or any other forms of categorisation. These are the films that I personally believe defined each year between 1990 and 2012.

Right with that out the way, I thought it would be fun to note down the films I believe have truly impacted on each cinematic year for the past 22 years -  that's the length of time I have walked and bothered this planet. Each year will be completed by two film choices and once you have read the list, feel free to comment with your own choices or slag off my terrible opinions. Here we go...

1990

Home Alone

(dir: Chris Columbus - USA - 102 Mins - 20th Century Fox)

Goodfellas

(dir: Martin Scorsese - USA - 146 Mins - Warner Bros.)

1991

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

(dir: James Cameron - USA - 139 Mins - TriStar)

Thelma and Louise

(dir: Ridley Scott - USA/UK - 129 Mins - Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)

1992

Unforgiven

(dir: Clint Eastwood - USA - 131 Mins - Warner Bros.)

 

Man Bites Dog

(dir/s: Remy Belvaux/Benoit Poelvoorde - France - 95 Mins - Tartan)

1993

Jurassic Park

(dir: Steven Spielberg - USA - 127 Mins - Universal)

Groundhog Day

(dir: Harold Ramis - USA - 101 Mins - Columbia Pictures)

1994

Pulp Fiction

(dir: Quentin Tarantino - USA - 154 Mins - Miramax)

Ed Wood

(dir: Tim Burton - USA - 127 Mins - Touchstone Pictures)

1995

Toy Story

(dir: John Lasseter - USA - 77 Mins - Disney/Pixar Animation Studios)

Se7en

(dir: David Fincher - USA - 128 Mins - New Line Cinema)

1996

Fargo

(dir: Joel Coen - USA - 98 Mins - Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)

Bottle Rocket

(dir: Wes Anderson - USA - 92 Mins - Columbia Pictures)

1997

Titanic

(dir: James Cameron - USA - 194 Mins - Paramount Pictures)

Good Will Hunting

(dir: Gus Van Sant - USA - 126 Mins - Miramax)

1998

Festen

(dir: Thomas Vinterberg - Denmark - 105 Mins - Studio Canal)

The Truman Show

(dir: Peter Weir - USA - 103 Mins - Paramount Pictures)

1999

American Beauty

(dir: Sam Mendes - USA - 122 Mins - DreamWorks)

Fight Club

(dir: David Fincher - USA - 139 Mins - 20th Century Fox)

2000

Requiem for a Dream

(dir: Darren Aronofsky - USA - 101 Mins - Artisan Entertainment)

Almost Famous

(dir: Cameron Crowe - USA - 122 Mins - DreamWorks)

2001

Mulholland Drive

(dir: David Lynch - USA - 147 Mins - Universal Pictures)

Ichi the Killer

(dir: Takashi Miike - Japan - 129 Mins - Tartan)

2002

Irreversible

(dir: Gaspar Noe - France - 97 Mins - Tartan)

The Hours

(dir: Stephen Daldry - UK/USA - 114 Mins - Miramax)

2003

Finding Nemo

(dir: Andrew Stanton - USA - 100 Mins - Disney/Pixar Animation Studios)

Monster

(dir: Patty Jenkins - USA - 109 Mins - Newmarket Films)

2004

Sideways

(dir: Alexander Payne - USA - 127 Mins - Fox Searchlight)

Closer

(dir: Mike Nichols - UK/USA - 104 Mins - Columbia Pictures)

2005

Cache (Hidden)

(dir: Michael Haneke - France - 117 Mins - Artificial Eye)

Match Point

(dir: Woody Allen - UK/USA - 124 Mins - DreamWorks)

2006

The Departed

(dir: Martin Scorsese - USA - 151 Mins - GK Films)

The Devil Wears Prada

(dir: David Frankel - USA - 109 Mins - 20th Century Fox)

2007

Juno

(dir: Jason Reitman - USA/Canada - 96 Mins - Fox Searchlight)

Gone Baby Gone

(dir: Ben Affleck - USA - 114 Mins - Miramax)

2008

The Dark Knight

(dir: Christopher Nolan - USA - 152 Mins - Warner Bros.)

Rachel Getting Married

(dir: Jonathan Demme - USA - 114 Mins - Sony Pictures Classics)

2009

Up

(dir: Pete Docter - USA - 96 Mins - Disney/Pixar Animation Studios)

Avatar

(dir: James Cameron - USA - 162 Mins - 20th Century Fox)

2010

Inception

(dir: Christopher Nolan - USA/UK - 148 Mins - Warner Bros.)

The Social Network

(dir: David Fincher - USA - 121 Mins - Columbia Pictures)

2011

The Artist

(dir: Michel Hazanavicius - France/USA - 100 Mins - The Weinstein Company)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

(dir: David Yates - UK/USA - 130 Mins - Warner Bros.)

2012

Shame

(dir: Steve McQueen - UK/USA - 101 Mins - Momentum Pictures)

You'll have to wait for the next one...

So did you like the list or is it all total nonsense - let me know below!