Friday, 24 August 2012

I'd Hire The Expendables...

I've only just got round to seeing The Expendables 2 and let me tell you this - it's great. Utterly ridiculous, total preposterous and unbelievably far-fetched yes, but it's still a wonderful action romp that's filled with spectacular set pieces, fabulous design and frankly hilarious dialogue. The screenplay is basically a series of '80s film gags and puns; simply heaven.

 Stallone dominates as per usual plus Van Damme is a brilliant villain. Norris actually makes a self-referenced joke which drops perfectly and Lundgren looks like he's had a stroke. Oh and Crews is nearly as mental as he is in these Old Spice commercials which are quite frankly the finest things ever crafted by man...

 Anyway, The Expendables 2 is a vast improvement on it's predecessor, for which I still liked very much. Having Simon West direct rather than Stallone means the scale and settings for the film seem grander, more authentic; it looks like a high-budget action film rather than just a giant celebration of '80s muscle and testosterone. Plus all that naff serious stuff is gone (fuck off Mickey Rouke) and the narrative is able to shine through allowing for scenes of loose drama and those of comedy.

 Perhaps the best thing about the movie for me is seeing it after watching the year's worst films within one week. It's strange how two 'comedy' movies couldn't make me smile, laugh or feel entertained yet a group of old bastards shooting the living shit out of anything that doesn't speak English could make me feel so happy. I'm not sure if that's worrying or dementedly reassuring. All I know is that I would hire The Expendables to rid the world of these...

Could you imagine Stallone pummelling, Statham stabbing and Crews blasting this stupid little indie prick to pieces?
I'd sleep easy for eternity. 

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